Skip to main content

EKPEINGBA SERIES 10-James Ibori My Student? By Tam Oburumu

EKPEINGBA SERIES 10 James Ibori My Student? " Hello class, my name is Ekpeingba and I am your new primary one teacher!" " Good morning sir, we are happy to see you. " " Thank you. As I said earlier, my name is Ekpeingba and I will be teaching you for the rest of your lives, oh sorry, for the rest of your days in primary one.. Now, I want you all to introduce yourselves to me not in native dialects but in queen's English. " " Sir, My name is James Manager Ogbeinama " " What,James Manager? You are still in this school? I thought I taught you twenty years ago in this primary one when I was a lowly qualified community teacher? You should be doing your PHD by now " " Yes sir, I came back here when I heard you returned from retirement to teach primary one." "Why? " " Because I heard wherever you teach, you share buns to your pupils so that they will have unprecedented interest in your lessons and I love buns.. " "Jesus ! Well, James Manager Ogbeinama, I have stopped sharing snacks. The economy is telling on my small income. I have refused being Papa Christmas many years ago...Next. "
" Sir, my name is David Edevbie Afishiere, you can add the Olorogun. " " Hmm, David, David, you look smallish,masculine and attractive and somehow suitable for primary one. " "Sir, sir, sir.... " "Yes James Manager, what's the problem? " "Sir, look at him very well sir.. David was also in primary school twenty years ago. In fact he was the one collecting money on behalf of notorious students bullies..He was the mathematics teacher to the fragile president who refused to die even after his death in Saudi Arabia." " Oh, I remember, David Edevbie, the boy, sorry the man who they rumored to have genealogical roots in Isoko but succeeded in laying eggs in his Afishiere foundation?" "Sir, don't mind James Manager, I am just six years. I only finished nursery school two years ago. " "Hmmmm, but you look old yet deceiving in your superman outfit.. Well, Next. " " Sir, I am Ovie Omoagege Orogun, call me the Maceguy." " Ovie, Ovie, wait o, is it the Ovie I know? " "I guess so sir." "Ah, the Ovie that jumped from Orogun with a staff of office and landed in juicy ground of the fulanized Aso? " "Yeah... That's me sir." "I am in trouble.. What are you doing in primary one? I thought you are in the university? " " Yes sir but buns, I love buns... I missed your buns... " "Well, unfortunately I don't share buns again..Next. " "I am Kenneth Gbagi Oginibo a.k.a Mike Tyson." "Mike Tyson? The one who beat up some over sabi commoners in hotels?" " I don't know what you saying sir I am Gbagi and I am here because of buns too.. in fact I love primary one.... primary one for lifeeeeee! " "Oh, oh... I don jam today." "Relax sir Ekpeingba, nothing dey happen ..we die here for buns. " "Sorry to disappoint you Mr Mike Tyson, I don't share buns no more.Next." "Sir, I am Emmanuel Uduaghan Koko." "Ah,, Udu too? You know I know you. You were in Primary two before.. What are you doing here?" "Sir, I am here because of my brother,my partner in crime... The real buns maker." " Who? " " I am James Onanefe Ibori Oghara Koko, the landlord in London-Okere." "Jesus, lord have mercy. Odidigborigbo the landlord of London-Okere in my class? A pupil in primary one ?" "Taaa, I am not your pupil. I am in this class to protect my kiddy David. Anyone who tries rubbish with my boy will be taken to camp five." " oh oh, I don't think I can be able to teach this class.I must report this to the headmaster.. I am leaving." "sir, I am Tompolo and this is my brother Otuaro and we love buns like hell too . You must give us buns by fire and thunder." " Nor be me with una... I am leaving o. "

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WDI Holds Maiden Meeting

The Wake Delta Initiative ( WDI) popularly known as WAKERS held their maiden meeting on the 9th of November,2024. The meeting also provided online platform for members who couldn't participate physically due to some challenges. Speaking to Xtrim News , the National Director General of the sociopolitical group, Tam Oburumu,expressed confidence in WDI, waking Deltans all over the world to stand up to their civic responsibilities. He emphasized the need for competent deltans to gear up for leadership positions through WDI that's working on the grassroots to mobilized supporters and voters for credible and passionate Deltans.WDI will be critical against the financial excesses of politicians who mismanage public funds to the detriment of Deltans. Though the meeting was postponed due to little network hitches ,it was successful as interim positions were alloted to serious minded members. Below is the detailed list of the interim administration. Interim Executives of WDI 1 - Tam Ob...

Mama Aleibiriere at 70 ( Special Edition)

MAMA ALEIBIRIERE AT 70 March 21st , 2025 will forever fresh in the memories of the Oburumus and Ondukus as they celebrated the 70th birthday of their loving wife,mother, grandmother, mother in-law , sister , aunt etc. Encomiums rained like blessings as family and well wishers conversed at her residence for the reception after the Thanksgiving Service at All Saints Anglican Cathedral Ughelli on the 23rd of March 2025. The Bishop of the Cathedral,The Most Rev.C.O.Odutemu,PhD.JP.Arch Bishop Ecclesiastical Province of Bendel/Bishop, Ughelli, personally officiated the thanksgiving service in recognition of Mrs Aleibiriere Dorcas Oburumu ( Nee Onduku) dedication to the evangelical activities not only in the Cathedral but the Anglican Adams Preaching Society. The Bishop acknowledged her young and beautiful outlook despite clocking 70. In response, Mama Dorcas attributed everything to God Almighty even in times of turbulence. She gracefully mimed an Ijaw song to the admiration of the ...

Manifesto: Labo Unleashes Master Plan

Top contender of the Bomadi LGA council chairmanship post , Hon.Barrrister Labo Clifford Fun-akpo has once again expressed his zeal to give the good people of Bomadi LGA good leadership through effective and transparent administration. Labo Clifford made this available to newsmen through his breathtaking manifesto,primarily targeted at education, security, entertainment, infrastructure, sports,ethnic tolerance, revenue,electricity etc. He explained comprehensively on the masterstrokes of achieving or actualizing his selfless vision for Bomadi LGA. The manifesto has given fresh breath to the people of Bomadi LGA already with encomiums and prayers coming every nook an cranny of the local government area. Below is the full text of the manifesto. " WHY I WANT TO BE YOUR TRUSTEE AS BOMADI LGA CHAIRMAN, DELTA STATE I am Hon.Barr.Labo Clifford Fun-akpo, an indigene of kalafiogbene /Ekamta , Ward Five (5) . I am here to serve the good people of Bomadi LGA with humility , trust and...